Thursday, 24 February 2011

Our windscreens remained un-smashed by angry pensioners.

It was boxing day 2009. We were on our way home from Couch Potato's mother's house where we had a buffet and exchanged gifts while continuing to stuff our faces with sausage rolls and ready salted crisps.

The motorway was pretty clear, due to the amount of cars whizzing up and down, clearing whatever snow was there right away, so we did not expect what was coming.

We drove through the far-end of town up a few main roads to get to our street, and turned onto it.

"The snow's getting worse over here," I said, my eyes widening in horror when I realised we couldn't go any further. We were stuck!

Couch Potato and I (we were in separate cars) both tried to free ourselves, but neither of us could.

"Mum, what do we do now?" Daughter asked.

"Well, we're only around the corner from the house. Take Son back, but be careful: it's deadly slippery out there."

Daughter nodded and got out, walking carefully up the road in her high heels (bad choice of footwear on a night like that).

I then tried again to free myself, but I just couldn't do it. After negotiating with Couch Potato, we decided to leave our cars there and come back to free them in the morning when some of the snow hopefully had melted - what else could we do? Rev all night until neighbours came outside shaking sticks and pelting rocks at our windows? We could, but it wouldn't do our reputation and our cars any good.

So, we followed the children inside and slouched on the sofa, absolutely whacked.


This post was a part of Mama Kat's Writing Workshop, under the prompt: Describe your worst winter weather story.


Wednesday, 23 February 2011

I have the memory of a dumb umbrella stand. Who just had a knock on the head

Why is it that whenever there is a TV programme on that I actually like/would love to see, I always miss it?

Last night I randomly decided to go shopping and missed something that I'd liked to have seen. I'm fairly used to it, of course: rarely a day goes by when I don't miss something and curse out loud when the thought enters my cluttered mind. It always seems to happen when my 11-year-old son is around, also. "Shit" flies out of my mouth, and he stares at me with horror in his eyes, even though I catch him swearing all the time at his Playstation when Fifa doesn't work and his footballers collide on the pitch.

I have Sky Plus, okay? Now, I'm not boasting or bragging about how much money I have, because frankly I'm not. Sky Plus is about the only thing we can afford in our house, so we like to keep the lighting down to dim, which makes up for the never-ending use of my kettle.
The reason I'm mentioning the Sky Plus is that since I have it, it enables me to recording my shows to watch later, or to at least remind me when that programme is on. I thought I'd be in when the show was on, so I stuck "reminder" on the show and got on with my housework (along with my kettle boiling, housework is never-ending also), completely forgetting about it. Then I went shopping, because it had escaped my mind and ran off somewhere to snigger at my messy hairstyle.

I forgot to record it.

Now, it may seem like I am making a fuss over nothing. But it was a programme I had been waiting to see FOR TWO WEEKS and when the time finally came...BAM. I decided to trudge round the local shopping centre and chug caffeine from Starbucks instead. I'm an enemy to myself, I think. Excuse me while I go and sob into a pillow.

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Returned from my...hiatus

Hello! I know I told you I had officially moved to Wordpress, and I had, but it didn't feel right after a few posts. I don't know why, but the exhilarating (if you can associate blogging with that word) feeling of posting an entry just wasn't the same as on Blogspot.
Anyway, to cut a long and boring story short...

I'M BACK!

I feel like I have said this before. I don't know, maybe I have: my memory isn't like it used to be. I've gone from elephant to umbrella stand.
I don't even know why I left. I guess I just forgot the real point, or just didn't feel like blogging much more. I knew that when I left it wouldn't be forever, that I'd be coming back in a few months to continue where I left off, as I couldn't leave it forever. So, instead of "leaving", let's just say I was taking a short hiatus from the blogging world to get my head around things that were happening outside of cyberspace. The house is pretty cluttered, as ever, and my mum is currently staying with us so things could get more chaotic than ever without me even being aware of it. That's what it does with me - instead of facing me like a real dilemma, it creeps behind me and then when I'm feeling my best it catches up with me and bites me on the arse, which could explain all the stress I'm feeling - maybe the chaos injects it into me like botox or silicone. It seems a reasonable explanation, I suppose.

So, as I was saying, the chaos in my house is like a poisonous gas, and is hitting all of us like a bag of bricks being swung from a digger. Not one of us has stress levels under 50%, for more than an hour, and at the moment we're all in danger of becoming intoxicated by it all.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating.

Or not.

It's hard to say.

Hopefully it'll ease off, but even as I write it I am laughing out loud. Everything in this household is crazy, so we all try and fit a laugh in at some point, but fail most of the time and yell instead. What the neighbours might think of us...